


Repairman Ace

by FleaBee



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-02-03 03:49:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12740430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleaBee/pseuds/FleaBee
Summary: When destiny came knocking wanting a hero, the door was closed and another opened. Arnold Rimmer wasn't destined to be a Space Adventuring Hero, he was destined to go down a different path and be a different type of hero. AU of series seven and eight.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been a long time coming, my second started Red Dwarf story and the first long multichapter to completion in a long while. My first Red Dwarf story is still being worked on. This was started before XI and XII were announced. I intended to write an AU for series seven to the end of X but that changed when XI came out so decided to stick to seven and eight. It has nothing from XII since I have not seen that yet and tried to keep XI knowledge out of this story.

"I won't do it," Arnold crossed his arms, glaring at the other version of himself. Ace didn't even look put out by his response, in fact he looked like he'd been expecting it. It was common knowledge among both parties that they didn't like one another, though Ace put on a good show of appearing that he liked his other self for the benefit of others around them. Arnold could read his other self like an open book, after all, who would know himself better than himself? Maybe, Dave Lister, he seemed to be able to read Arnold and know when he was upset when he was trying to hide his feelings from the others.

Ace kept his voice calm. "I know that you don't want to do it Arnie, but you are me. Another version of me. Believe me when I say you have it in you to be Ace, to do what I do. Haven't you always wanted to pilot your own ship?"

"I know I'm another version of you. You don't need to rub it in that you're the better version of me. Here's hopeless Arnie who never made it into the Space Corps. I'll let you know that I am already piloting my own ship! What do you think I have been doing for the last however many years? I have to do a little bit of everything and have been learning as much as I can to keep this rust bucket operational ever since I got my hard-light drive. Even before I got my hard-light drive."

Ace tried again. "Didn't you want to be like John, a test pilot in all the action? A hero who saves damsels in distress, where people worship the ground you work on. It's hard work, but it pays off at the end of the day. This is your chance to fill your childhood dream."

Arnold pressed his lips together. Ace still wasn't getting through to him, and they both knew it.

"Once I wanted to do all that. I wanted to rescue the girl and be a hero. Have people look up to me. The action, the excitement and everything that goes along with it. But I've come to realise, I like the quiet things in life. I don't want to be a space adventuring hero who always puts there life on the line for people that I don't know and will never see again. I have a hard enough time doing that for the people I do know and myself.

"I want to be my own person. I don't want to be like John, Frank, Howard, Uncle Frank and the last thing I want to be like is you. We may be the same person from different dimensions, but we are not the same. I don't have to follow in your footsteps. I am going to carve my own footsteps even if that means spending the rest of eternity with Lister, Kryten, and Cat in this pile of junk. You know what? I've done it for several years already and the rest of eternity doesn't look so bad."

Ace's smile still didn't falter. Arnold continued glaring at him from the other end of the bed Ace was lying on. The ship was quiet, the only sound was the hum of the engine, the occasional glitch of the dying light-bee and the heavy breathing of the two Rimmers. Ace knew that they could both continue on for hours, hours that Ace didn't have.

"Look, Arnie, I am dying, and I don't have much time. Wildfire brings me to a dimension to train the next Ace Rimmer. I am to train you with the little time I have." The concern showed itself on Ace's face. He was concerned that he was going to fail to get Arnold to accept and trained in time. He didn't want the legacy to end with him. "You can be a hero."

Arnold snorted. He didn't have a heroic bone in his body. Not that he had any bones being made up of light and all that. He was the last version of himself he would call on to be a hero. He was a snivelling, conniving coward who would throw his teammates to the lions or more likely GELFs or Simulants to survive. That was not the trait of a heroic person. Kryten had made a list of all his horrible traits.

"Even if I wanted to be Ace, which I don't. I wouldn't last five minutes. I am not going to put myself in danger intentionally when my T count is far too high during normal day-to-day operation. I wouldn't last a week. The first dangerous situation I came across and I would be burnt out before I could say Oh smeg." In truth, he wouldn't last a full day.

Ace didn't believe a word that Arnold said. Wildfire would never bring him to a dimension with an Arnold Rimmer who was close to permanent death. Before he could ask about the condition of Arnold's light-bee, he realised he was getting asked the question he was about to ask.

"Have you tried to fix your light-bee? What is even wrong with it in the first place?" Arnold asked, showing concern, a concern that he was trying to hide which Ace only recognised because they were the same person.

Ace opened his jacket which was hiding the leaking light, exposing the glitch in the projection system that was rapidly draining his power. "I'm beyond Wildfires repair capabilities. I know nothing about how to fix light-bees myself." The hologram was pale and sickly looking despite the fact that holograms weren't meant to get sick or suffer physical damage. Over the years, Arnold had discovered that just wasn't true. Holograms just got ill in a different way to humans. They could come down with viruses much like computer viruses, corrupted data and memory files, physical damage to the light-bee and or the holosuite would all cause permanent damage or death to a hologram.

Ace watched Arnold as he worked through something, finally coming up with an idea. Ace waited to see what Arnold would say. The look on his face was all too like the times when he tried to take on more than he could chew, but was overconfident in his abilities to do just that. Those moods usually lead to massive disappointment.

"I want to make a little wager with you," Arnold said, still radiating with confidence. "If I can fix your light-bee, I don't have to be Ace."

"If you fail you will fill my clothes and shoes, literally and become the next Ace Rimmer," Ace added to the bet. "I can agree to that."

After all, what did Ace have to lose? He was a dying man anyway. If by some miracle Arnold could save his life, he'd be the happiest man in the universe. The two Rimmer's shook hands, sealing the deal. Arnold didn't let go, helping Ace to his feet.

"We'll go to the medi-bay." Arnold continued talking as they went towards the small medical office that Starbug had to offer. "I've become pretty good at diagnosing my own light-bee issues over the years. I'm proud to say that I can even do most of my own maintenance since I become hard-light. I had to, you see. Especially after getting stuck on Rimmerworld alone for six hundred years. Of course, I can't do everything myself, just like a doctor can't do everything by themselves. I get Kryten and Lister to do everything that I can't do myself."

"Rimmerworld?" Ace questioned raising an eyebrow, stumbling slightly. He was expecting to fall flat on his face, but to his surprise he found Arnold wrapping his arm around him, keeping him upright the rest of the short walk to the medi-bay.

Arnold's face twisted as he considered if he'd answer the question or not. "Terrible place of my own creation. I got trapped on a planet for six hundred years with terraforming and cloning gear. Not a good combination if you ask me. It was a disaster waiting to happen. Thought that I'd clone myself so I didn't have to be alone until the others could collect me. Biggest mistake ever. Cowardly bunch of twats, they locked me up because I wasn't Rimmery enough. Me! The original. They put anyone to death who diverted from there so called perfect template. You should convince one of them to be the next Ace Rimmer."

Ace didn't believe a world Arnold was saying but found it was keeping him distracted from his upcoming death. "How did you manage to clone yourself when you are a hologram?" Ace asked, expecting to find a hole in the story.

Arnold looked embarrassed as he answered. "I had the scutters put a small portion of my ashes into my light-bee, so if I ever came across something that could clone myself again, I'd be able to clone a new body for myself. I didn't think of using my own remains the first time I found a machine that would have created an organic body. I spent hours looking for my old dandruff and skin flakes at the time. I'm now glad I put some of my remains into my light-bee. The rest of my ashes are on the Red Dwarf, wherever that is. I bet you think it's really morbid that I wanted to keep a part of my now dead body with me at all times."

Arnold helped Ace sit in the medi-bay. It looked rather primitive, and Ace really didn't think that anything in here would be able to help when state of the art Wildfire couldn't help him.

"I don't find that odd in the slightest Arnie, I actually kicking myself right now for not thinking of doing that myself. I was alive when I became Ace. My ashes are orbiting a planet, named Rimmerworld with all the ashes and light-bees of the Ace's that came before me. I wonder if it's the same planet as your Rimmerworld."

Arnold smiled, a genuine smile, that they did have something in common. Both men were glad that they didn't run into Kryten or Cat during the journey to the medi-bay. Ace wasn't looking well, and the droid and feline both worship the ground that Ace walked on would just to the wrong conclusion. They didn't believe he could do any wrong and would both accuse Arnold of hurting Ace even though that wasn't the case. They were not aware that said hero was already injured when he boarded the ship.

\- Red Dwarf -

Ace watched Arnold as he prepared the medi-bay with different tools, programs on the computer and several books. Muttering to himself as he prepared.

Filled with faked failing confidence, Arnold took a deep breath trying to calm his nerves. It was one thing to fix himself, it was an entirely different thing to fix someone else, though technically he was still fixing himself, just another version of himself.

"To start off with, I'm going to run two lots of diagnostics to get an idea of what areas I'll need to focus on repairing," Arnold explained, hands fidgeting and knee jiggling as he spoke. "The first lot of diagnostics are while you are awake and focuses on your physical operations, thoughts, movement, breathing and everything else to emulate a living person. The next lot of diagnostics require you to be offline. These diagnostics focus on the code and hardware that keep you online."

"Soft-light?" Ace enquired.

Arnold nodded, going over to the console he'd prepared earlier which had to wires that were leading back to the computer.

The leaking light was far worse in soft-light mode then it had been in hard-light mode.

Arnold scrunched up his face. "I've never done this to another hologram before." Trying to keep his hand's steady as he distorted Ace's image and connected the wires to the light-bee. As soon as the wires were both connected the computer started spitting out data. Ace gulped seeing his life expectancy. He didn't even have enough time to train a new Ace Rimmer.

The door whooshed open, startling Arnold. Ace turned his head, smiling at the young man who entered. "Evening Skip."

Arnold was relieved to see that it wasn't Kryten or Cat. Dave wouldn't jump to conclusions like the other two would.

Dave nodded to the two Rimmers. "Just checking to make sure you hadn't killed each other. I checked here first when I saw you were no longer in the bunkroom. Ace, you alight?" The last human wasn't fazed in the slightest by Ace's holographic status as he examined the diagnostic cables going back to the computer. Arnold wondered if perhaps Dave already knew that Ace was a hologram.

"Right as rain, Skipper," Ace replied in his ever-chipper voice. He was now hiding the pain he'd been showing to Arnold only moments before. If one thing could be said for Ace, he was a good actor. Yet Arnold could see through him, and he was sure that Dave could as well.

Arnold rolled his eyes. "He's lying. Unless he's referring to acid rain. Doesn't have long unless I find some way to fix his light-bee."

Dave looked over Arnold's shoulder at the diagnostics. "Should I get Kryten? On second thought, I wouldn't get him. This is outside Kryten's experience and all he'd end up doing it worrying and burning out his worry and guild circuits again because he couldn't help. Between the two of us we should be able to do something."

"You're both gems," Ace continued to attempt to charm them both despite the damage.

"Ace, I'm going to turn you off now. Time for the next lot of diagnostics." Arnold was fiddling with the console and flicked the switch to turn off Ace's projection as soon as he got the nod of consent. The projection vanishing and the light-bee falling to the bed. He saw acceptance in Ace's eyes moments before he was shut off. He thought he was never going to get turned on again and that this was his last moment alive. Arnold gulped, he didn't think he could be that calm in the face of his own permanent death.

Arnold and Dave looked over the diagnostics in silence. Ace's reading were not getting worse while he was turned off. The light-bee was physically damaged, a scorch mark, several indents and a large gash down one side exposing the chips and wires that made up the light-bee. Most importantly no green light was spilling out the light-bee while it was turned off.

"This will buy me some time to come up with something," Arnold sighed. Turning to Dave to explain how Ace managed to get his light-bee damaged and the bet he's made to fix Ace. "Why did I make such a stupid bet. I can't fix his light-bee. I can't do anything right. Why would I make a bet when I cannot repair my own light-bee."

There was silence for a few moments. "What problems do you have with your light-bee that you can't fix? I've seen you repair your own light-bee on many occasions when you thought no one was paying attention. Did you think of asking myself or Kryten to have a look at your problem?"

"My T count is running too high. Kryten already knows about it. My anxiety is causing my light-bee to go haywire. A person who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks is not meant to be turned on. Everything should be tickety-boo if we ever find the Red Dwarf. With the holosuite I'd be able to do more extensive checks to get to the root of the problem, unlike the primitive diagnostics Starbug has. It's all pointless really. I should give up now. Ace is doomed, and it's all my fault."

Dave put a hand on Arnold's should. "I've never known you to give up on something so easily. You always give yourself challenges that you cannot succeed in. This time I believe you can and even if you do fail, it's not like you could make things worse. He's going to die if you do nothing. This isn't putting you in any danger which is the only time you run." Arnold gave Dave a weak smiled. "Rimmer, you've done a good job keeping yourself running. How many other holograms can say they've been around as long as you have and still in working condition without regular contact with other holgrams or technicians who specialise in holograms? I'm not counting the holograms on holoships because they have each other and specialise in holograms."

"The only other hologram not counting Ace and the holoship holograms was on Nova 5. She was glitched, I had to turn her off because I couldn't fix her. She was stuck reliving the same moment over and over again." Arnold couldn't keep his pain and guilt hidden from Dave. What an awful existence. She was stuck like that for over a million years, almost three million and would've kept looping like that until her power ran out. I couldn't do anything to help her. All I could do was turn her off." He turned to Dave, grabbing both shoulders. "Dave, promise me if I ever get stuck like that. Turn me off. As much as I don't want to die. I would rather be dead then exist for eternity like that."

The conversation was making Arnold feel somewhat depressed. He couldn't save the Nova 5 hologram whose name he didn't even remember, and he couldn't save Ace either.

"Sure thing man. And while I live I'd keep looking for a way to repair you so I could have you back again. You're the one that keeps me same. The diagnostics are going to take a while, you should take a break. He's not getting any worse."

"I'm going for a walk," Arnold said, walking out of the medi-bay, heading towards there quarters. There weren't many places to chose from to go through a walk in the small ship. They had the drive room, kitchen and living area, medi-bay, Dave's room, Arnold's room, Cat's room, cargo bay and the computer room that they also had the VR equipment stored since there was no other place they could hook the gear up.

Arnold missed walking through the Red Dwarf. There you could walk the corridors for days on end and not see anyone for weeks at a time. Arnold stopped, looking out one of the portal windows. Wildfire was tethered to their ship, having no room to land. He couldn't be Ace, flying around it that small ship only designed for one person. He'd develop claustrophobia to add on top of his list of growing phobias. He'd go space crazy being alone without Dave, just like he had on Rimmerworld.

\- Red Dwarf -

Retreating to the small area that had been converted to a recreation area, Arnold sipped on a cup of tea. A mix to calm his nerves and to wait out the diagnostics from Ace. He looked out the portal. Maybe in another universe aliens existed. Perhaps if he became Ace, he'd meet some real live aliens that didn't want to kill him. It was so unfair that he'd spend hundreds of years in space and still had not come across aliens. Everything that was alien like originally came from Earth in one form or another.

He turned towards the door as he heard heavy footsteps that could only belong to Kryten unless they'd been invaded by mechanoids or simulants during the time he was lost in his thoughts about Ace.

Kyten stopped in front of him. "Ah, Mister Rimmer, sir, have you seen Mister Ace? I cannot find him anywhere." Concerned about Ace's well being but never seemed to show any concern for him. If he became Ace, would Kryten in other dimensions treat him like his Kryten treated Ace? He knew that the answer we yes. Did Ace have a Kryten in his dimension? What about Dave and the Cat? He assumed that he had Dave. It seemed that Arnold and Dave's lives were interconnected in some form between the other dimensions that they knew about.

"Last place I saw him was the medi-bay. He wasn't feeling himself after his last dimension," Arnold answered honestly without elaborating.

Kryten switched over to worry mode. "Mister Ace is unwell? I looked in the medi-bay and I could not see him. I must find him at once and help him if he's sick. Oh, poor Mister Ace."

Kryten was flustered as he started looking around the room and in the fridge and under the chairs.

"Kryten, it's nothing you need to worry yourself about," Arnold snapped. Why was it everyone had to care about Ace? What was so special about Ace? Ace was his concern right now and no one else's, well maybe Dave's since he was helping but not Kryten's and not Cats. "You probably missed him. Maybe he went for a walk like I did earlier."

Arnold watched Kryten continue his fruitless search for Ace. He could not believe that the mechanoid hadn't noticed the light-bee when he was in the medical bay earlier.

Arnold leaned back in his chair, rubbing his temples. What did Ace have that he didn't? What made him so appealing? Wasn't he just another version of him? How could he be despised so much and another version of himself be revered?

Cat would be happy if he left and never came back. Kryten also despised him even though he pretended he didn't. Dave was the only one that would maybe miss him, after all, he was brought back as a hologram to keep Dave sane and healthy. Why Holly chose him? He still wasn't sure, but it was probably because he'd already gone computer senile long before they'd lost the ship. Who knew what Holly was doing at that moment. The senile old dolt was probably the reason they'd miss placed the Red Dwarf in the first place. She probably didn't even realise they weren't on the ship when she'd flown off who knows where.

Arnold drained the rest of his tea. He'd had enough wallowing in self-pity, and the diagnostics that he was doing on Ace should be almost be completed.

\- Red Dwarf -

From years of reading his own diagnostic reports and manning the navigation consoles on Red Dwarf, Blue Midget and finally Starbug, Arnold had become rather good at understanding the reports generated from a Jupiter Mining Corporation systems. Reading a Space Corps report or the reports for the private section ships, stations and outposts was a different matter. He could not make heads or tails of those reports.

Arnold took the reports back to his room. It was going to take a while to read through the report, especially since it was a report that spat out numbers. If he rushed himself where numbers were concerned, especially when he was trying to show off to Dave and Kryten he'd end up making a bigger fool of himself then if he took his time. He was awful with numbers. He hated them and yet they were everywhere and seemed to be needed for everything.

Numbers were the reason he kept failing his Astronavigation and engineering exams. He had the books memorised, heck he had the Space Corps directives memories, all of them committed to memory and yet he could not remember what number they were assigned unless he started reciting them from the very begging and even then after a certain point he started getting the numbers mixed up. He had to take his time with numbers if he was going to help Ace.

He did have one thing on his side, Ace was not declining while turned off. If he'd been deteriorating still, Arnold would've ended up in a fluster making the mistakes that he commonly made.

\- Red Dwarf -

Arnold had picked up the report and read it in his room, he read through the report several times, a grin made its way to his face as he finished his final read through. He could actually do this. Ace's problem was something that he already knew how to fix. He even had the tools and the skills for once to fix the issues with Ace's light-bee. He couldn't believe it! It wasn't his luck, he had lousy luck. The luck must be Ace's luck.

With a skip in his step, Arnold returned to the medi-bay to put everything he needed together. Making sure he had all the steps sorted out in his head before he even touched the light-bee. Making a list and then a schedule for fixing the light-bee. Fixing Ace's light-bee would be time consuming. Arnold knew that he would eventually need Dave's help with welding the chips that required replacing. As a result of Arnold's anxiety, his hands shook and took a lot to steady his hands. Dave somehow had steadier hands when drunk then Arnold had on a day to day basis. When he got to the point of needing Dave's help, he'd ask him.

Satisfied that everything was in order, with his list and his schedule, Arnold picked up the light-bee to begin winning his bet with Ace.

\- Red Dwarf -

Arnold jumped when he heard his name called. Looking around, startled to find that he wasn't alone, he found Dave who looked at home in the chair next to the bed in the medi-bay, a mixture between bored and fascinated if that was even possible.

"When did you get here?" Arnold asked, surprised to find how much energy it took to talk.

Dave stood up, walking over to examine his work. "I think it was two hours ago. You looked busy, and I didn't want to disturb you." Dave was glancing at the schedule that was now pinned to the wall.

"So why did you disturb me now?" Arnold asked. He hated being disturbed, especially when he was busy with something. Arnold tried not to look at the schedule, he'd gone overtime, and that would cause a different bout of anxiety about underestimating how long each step was going to take.

"You're light-bee had been indicating that you need to recharge for the last half hour and you haven't done anything about it," Dave informed him.

Arnold heard the tell-tale beep that his light-bee emitted when he was due for a recharge. When he was on Starbug, and nothing was going on, he usually made sure to keep his light-bee charge enough to allow for unexpected situations. He hated the feeling of charging, something that he didn't need to do when he was running on the Red Dwarf since he could switch between the holographic suite and the lightbee. He hated the feeling of charging up after he'd gone entirely flat, something that he tried not to let himself do.

"You've done a lot of work so far. How's Ace?" Dave asked, examining each and every one of the wires that were coming out of Ace's light-bee.

"Better but not yet ready to turn on." Arnold took the seat that Dave had vacated. "I'll need your help eventually to replace the hard-light projection chip. It's almost burnt out and what is causing the green light that we witnessed leaking from him. The softlight drive will need to be put back in place, it's come loose. I've still got a long way to go with correcting the code that has become corrupted by the damage that was caused. His memory modules and personality chips are still in working order. I have removed both, so they don't become corrupted if anything goes wrong with the light-bee. A lot can go wrong."

Arnold had to pause as a wave of exhaustion hit him, once it passed he continued explaining to Dave what he knew so far, Dave returning to his seat, listening patiently as he spoke.

"As a last resort Ace's memory module and personality chip can be patched into a replacement light-bee. It is something that I would prefer to avoid doing. Do you remember that time when we swapped bodies?"

"Yeah, I remember. It was fun being in your body for a little while, but it felt off. It felt so good when we finally swapped back."

"According to the books that I've read with comments by the holograms who have experienced the swap, describe the feeling as being like a body swap. The closest I have experienced myself is when Legion upgraded me. I was so excited to be able to touch and feel again that I don't know if I felt lost or odd like the book describes."

Arnold rubbed his temples, as his lightbee beeped once again.

"Everything can wait for now, yeah? Because you really need to recharge."

Arnold nodded, struggling to stand to his feet. "Recharge time for me and bedtime for you after you help put me on charge."

\- Red Dwarf -

Starbug seemed to keep him on charge longer than necessary. Arnold wasn't sure if something was broken with the charging system, his lightbee or both. It was supposed to turn his lightbee back on as soon as the charge of the internal battery was at one hundred percent. Instead it kept him on charge for a full six hours after the charging was done. It only took two hours to charge, leaving him eight hours on the charger, throwing out his body clock since he didn't notice the passage of time while charging. He ended up staying on the charger for that amount of time if he charged overnight when everyone was sleeping, or no one thought to take him off charge or intentionally left him on the charger. Arnold missed the Red Dwarf's charging system where he was still aware of the passage of time when he was charging or would run off the internal systems.

He'd lost hours. It felt like he needed to go to bed and sleep when he finally came off the charger to start the day. Walking through the ship, he went to find Kryten to fix him up a meal before he continued working on Ace again. He missed having a night of dreams. According to all the books, Arnold had read about holograms, and how they are supposed to operate, holograms aren't meant to dream while asleep and yet Arnold still had dreams and nightmares even when he first became a hologram running off Holly's systems. A class one hologram the holoship holograms had called him since the Red Dwarf was using a second-hand holographic system that had originally been used by the Space Corps. Already an old system in his own time. Maybe dreaming was something that had been phased out in second generation holograms like the black and white of the prototype holograms.

\- Red Dwarf -

Three days and Arnold had spent it all in the medi-bay working on Ace. Kryten was upset, convinced that Mr. Ace was avoiding him. Cat was in his room trying to make himself look his best for the space hero he worshipped. Probably wanted fashion advice from the gimboid who looked like he was dressed to be roasted in his shiny jacket.

Dave had come and gone during the time, taking over Arnold's shifts of watching the cockpit. It was something that needed to be manned the majority of time in case of an emergency. The scanners which were unreliable after three million years of non-use was not something that Arnold wanted, or even Dave wanted to place their life on. Cat honestly didn't care less. The scanner needed to be repaired, but the problem was, none of the including Kryten knew how to go about fixing them.

Arnold looked up, seeing that Lister had once again joined him. It was good timing since he'd got up to the repairs that he would not be able to do on his own. He'd done all he could solo, and the last thing he wanted to do was muck something up because he grew overconfident or was too much of a coward to ask for help.

He knew that Dave would help, he cared about Ace, too much in Arnold's opinion. He wanted Dave to care about him in the way that Dave cared about Ace. He and Dave had been through so much together but Dave still liked and respected the space adventuring alter-ego more then he liked him as him. Arnold knew it to be true for a fact, he's been on the receiving end of it once before when a polymorph stole his fear, leaving him exactly like the pounce.

"Ah Listy, I was about to come looking for you. I'm up to the repairs which I need your help in." Arnold walked over, making Lister sit down to provide him detailed instruction on the repair that he couldn't do himself.

"Do you understand what you need to do?" Arnold asked after he'd finished going through the instructions.

"Rimmer, you have told me exactly what I need to do at every meal and before bed for the past three days. I know what I need to do. I put everything together except the memory and personality chips which we will put in later if everything goes well. Will you let me start? I'm ready as I will ever be."

Arnold stood back. He was nervous as he let Dave take over the repair. He continued telling Dave each step as the space bum worked. Dave dropped his tools, turning around, directly into Arnold's face. "Will you shut up already? Your backseat driving is distracting me. I - Can - Do - This. Just trust me. Go sit in the corner or recharge yourself until I am done."

Arnold grumbled, walking over the chair, huffing and crossing his arms as heavily sat in the chair. Dave was right, the last thing he wanted to do was cause Dave to make a mistake because he kept hovering. He cringed with each movement Dave made, biting his lip in order to try and keep himself from talking.

"Done, you can come over and look now," Dave said, wiping the sweat of his head and stepping back. Arnold was immediately at the bench, investigating Dave's handiwork. He made sure that everything really was in place and that they didn't have any leftover parts before closing the light-bee.

"Now to find out if the repair has worked," Arnold announced, connecting Ace up for another lot of diagnostic tests before they risked turning him on.

"No use hovering around here, we'll check what it say's in the morning," Dave said, placing a hand on Arnold's shoulder to lead him out of the medi-bay. Arnold knew Lister was right, but he didn't know if he would be able to get any sleep not knowing how Ace's condition was.


	2. Two

It was early morning, and both men were up, heading to the medi-bay to check on Ace. Both men shared a relieved, tired grin as they finished reading the diagnostic reports. They'd come back with only a few minor issues that could be sorted out later. The important thing was the light-bee should not be leaking horrible green light anymore.

"So do we insert his memory and personality?" Dave asked while looking at the tiny chips that were in a glass container, so they didn't get lost or covered in dust.

Arnold replied, "First we turn him on to make sure he is projecting correctly."

So much could still go wrong as Arnold knew well being a hologram himself. Arnold turned the Ace on himself. It was a nerve wrecking moment for both men as they watched the lifeless hologram boot.

Eyes open and hollow, sitting slumped. On the positive, no light was leaking from the hologram as they had assumed.

Both Arnold and Dave let out a sigh of relief. Arnold switching Ace between soft-light and hard-light while connected to the diagnostic machine to see what reading they got. Another relieved sigh passed through both their lips as Ace switched between states and didn't spit out any unexpected errors.

They were both impressed with themselves. The space bum and high strung Ionian had managed to fix a hologram together without Kryten's help. Over the years they had come to rely on the mechanoid a lot. Too much in some cases. The humans could work well together before the mechanoid came along. Putting aside petty arguments and petty differences long enough to get themselves out of a jam and then back to bickering. These days Kryten did so much for them that they both stood to the sidelines only really helping when they were desperately needed, bickering at one another from the sidelines. They needed to start working together again and to stop relying upon Kryten for everything.

The door the medi-bay opened, disturbing the silence as Cat walked in. They had not seen the feline for a number of days. He finally looked like he was ready to see Ace, who wasn't in no condition to see anyone.

"What's wrong with him?" Cat asked, looking at Arnold as if it was his fault that Ace was looking like a zombie.

"Ace isn't feeling well at the moment, he'll be back to himself in no time," Dave told the Cat, getting up to push him out the medi-bay.

"Can you blame him, having to walk around looking like Goal-Post-Head. No wonder he ended up looking like a zombie. I heard zombie-ism is contagious, I'm getting out of here before I catch it," Cat stalked out the room, not really caring about Ace's condition despite the fact he was one of Cat's favourite people and that he'd spent days trying to impress him. He caught his sight in a reflection and yowled, impressed before leaving that area of the ship.

Arnold had to take several calming breaths to stop himself going after and shouting at Cat. Controlling his anger was still an issue for him, something that he had been working on, but just found so hard to do, like almost everything else he did. The things that seemed to come easily was annoying and alienating people. His T counts were too high to get angry over a petty comment that Cat made on a regular basis.

Dave had looked at the computer that had Arnold's vitals running on it all the time. Seeing the T count rising steadily he decided that the best course of action was to get the conversation back on track. "So do we put the personality and memory chips back in now, or do we wait? Everything looks good so far." Dave kept an eye on the T counter, noticing that it dipped slightly.

"I need a break first," Arnold said after much considerations. "Cat got to me," he admitted. "How about a meal break? The next part is going to take a while, and we haven't had breakfast  yet."

Dave agreed, they both needed to be mentally alert before they started to replace the chips. He gave another worrying look at the T counter before they both left, hopefully, it would be lower after breakfast.

 

Arnold needed rest, even if he wouldn't admit it. After finishing tea, Dave had claimed that he wasn't feeling up to putting the chips back in, sending his shift leader to the bunkroom to read. Checking up on Arnold ten minutes later, he found the hologram asleep with one of his novels over his face. Dave picked the book up, putting it back in its place. He knew that Arnold would get upset if he rolled and creased a page or ripped anything.

Taking a walk to the cockpit, Dave took a seat, looking out to the dead reaches of space.

"Mister Lister, sir. Mister Rimmer ordered me not to move the ship several days ago," Kryten complained, rather upset about the order. They'd decided not to move since they didn't want to accidentally run into a threat and the movement of the ship was not ideal for some of the repairs they would be doing, especially when the chips were reinserted and having Wildfire tethered to them, it wasn't ideal to be moving anyway.

"I know Kryten, he discussed with me what he was going to do before he spoke with you," Dave replied, realising that he should have gone and spoken to Kryten right away rather than letting him steam for a few days about Arnold's order.

"Are you sure I shouldn't move the ship yet, sir? We've been sitting here for days." Kryten confirmed it was something Dave agreed with.

"Kryten, it's fine to stay here. Just keep an eye on the scanners. Ace is in the medi-bay at the moment. Rimmer and I couldn't risk running into asteroids, black holes and whatever other dangers that have almost wiped us out several times already. We'll let you know when we can move again if nothing comes up."

"Mister Ace? Why didn't you tell me he wasn't feeling well, I could've helped you," Kryten insisted as he went into worry mode.

And that was the reason he had not spoken to Kryten earlier, he would've blurted about Ace, and then he would of had the mechanoid in the medi-bay killing Arnold's confidence, which was very fragile.

"We know Kryten, but you see both Arnold and I have felt like we rely on you too much. We love relying on you Kryten, we really do. But we've forgotten how to do certain things ourselves. So we have both been looking after Ace. If things turned hairy, we would've got you. It wasn't anything personal, and we want to make sure if things get hairy that we'd be able to look after you if we ever need to."

"Are you sure we really can't move? What about GELF's, simulants and other threats? We lost the Red Dwarf trail months ago. If we don't keep looking for it, we will lose the trail even more then we already have and become more lost." Kryten reminded him of the predicament they were in.

Dave longed for his home on Red Dwarf, more then he longed for his home on Earth, and he knew that Arnold had considered Red Dwarf his home for years before the accident that trapped them in deep space. But it might be time to give that dream up and just find somewhere safe to live, safter then Starbug.

"Kryten, we are more likely to run into them while moving. As for the Red Dwarf, we lost the trail months ago. Who's to say we are even going in the right direction anymore. How about you see if you can find the trail again until Rimmer and I are finished with Ace? This should not be too much longer. Ace is on the mend now." Lister replied. Smiling to himself, it was the truth, Ace was on the literal mend.

"Maybe Ace can give us an idea of what direction we should be heading. Then we can continue on as normal." Kryten stood to walk towards the medi-bay.

"What? Bumbling around the universe with the empty goal of getting back to Earth? If we are found by anything that wants to kill us, we will move." Dave said knowing that was still on Kryten's mind. "Just say here, we've got everything else covered.

"If you insist. I will keep Starbug cockpit covered. Would you like dinner now, sir?" Kryten asked.

"Actually Rimmer and I just had breakfast not too long ago," Dave replied, regretting what he said immediately. "But I'll have dinner."

 

"Why didn't you wake me?" Arnold whined as they walked back towards the medi-bay.

"If you're sleeping that long you needed it," Dave rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe Arnold sometimes. If he woke him at a weird time, he'd wake up cranky. There were set times to wake Arnold up. "It's not like Ace is waiting for us. He's still on the diagnostic machine, so we get more readings and stuff."

Arnold spent several moments reading over the new diagnostics once they were in the medi-bay. "Everything is all tickety-boo," Arnold had a grin plastered from ear to ear. This was a positive tickety-boo and not the way Arnold used the word when things weren't alright but he wanted them to be and no one else to know that they weren't. "It's now a case of inserting the final two chips."

It wasn't a task that was quick as they both assumed. Dave was extremely glad that they had rested before tacking the task since it ended up taking an entire day to get the tiny chips inserted. They weren't designed to be looked at by people. They were designed to be looked at by robots that were specially designed to fix the light-bees, and from the reading, Arnold had been doing, he knew that there were smaller light-bee's out there then when he was using. Some light-bees were as tiny as a pinhead. He didn't understand how something so small could project an entire hologrammatic person.

"Now we turn him on," Dave said, throwing the light-bee into the air to regenerate and not giving Arnold a chance to go over the diagnostics again. He knew that Arnold would panic about all the fine details if everyone wasn't perfect and they wouldn't be perfect.

They both held their breath, waiting for Ace to respond. He looked more lifelike then when they'd booted him previously. Ace glanced around the room, his eye's landing on both men before looking down at his own body, feeling himself and switching between soft-light and hard-light.

"You really fixed me?" Ace asked, his pitch high and nasally like Arnold's own. He looked at them both, not believing that he had really been fixed. "Arnie, you did it. You really did it. I'm not dying. You fixed me." Ace exclaimed, getting up and pulling Arnold into a hug of thanks. He started sobbing on Arnold's shoulder. "I thought I was done for."

Arnold looked at Dave for help, unsure what to do, even if the person who was seeking comfort was another version of himself. Thankfully, Dave knew what he was doing, taking over and comforting Ace, patting him on the back in a hug until he was settled enough to listen to them.

"I didn't fix you alone. I cheated and had Listy help. I didn't follow our agreement," Rimmer rambled.

Ace rolled his eyes, turning to Arnold. "Arnie, our agreement never said that you couldn't have help in repairing me. In fact, I prefer to live then die because you didn't ask for help when you needed it. A step I don't think I would've been able to take myself before I came Ace. You've come a long way, a lot further then I thought. You don't mind if I have the old girl look everything over?" Referring to the computer of the Wildfire.

Arnold rolled his eyes. He would've just gone ahead with the diagnostics without asking.

"Yeah, sure, go ahead," Dave answered.

 

Dave had gone to find Kryten to get him to set up some lunch for them all to share now that Ace was out of the medi-bay. He'd happily got to work preparing the best of what they had, which wasn't much. Arnold had actually stopped eating real food a while ago because supplies were short. Once Ace had returned, Cat had slinked his way into the recreation area to join them over a meal, and Arnold had come back out of hiding, after much needed time to himself.

"Everything is hunky dory with Wildfire," Ace told them as he sat down to join them for what they were calling lunch despite none of them knowing what time of day it was.

They shared a light meal, Kryten fussing and Cat hero worshipping Ace. Once Cat got bored, Ace excused himself. "It's been a long day Kryten, if you excuse me, I will be returning to the medi-bay."

"Of course Mister Ace. Is there anything I can bring you?" Kryten requested.

"No, old chum. I've already have everything I need."

"Of course sir," Kryten nodded.

"We have something we need to attend to," Dave indicated to himself and Arnold. "Think you're right here to clean up Kryters?" Dave asked.

"Of course sir," Kryten replied.

 

Dave and Arnold both followed Ace to the medi-bay.

Ace turned towards the two men, only talking once the medi-bay door closed. "Arnie, I've been speaking to Wildfire. As part of our agreement, you don't have to be Ace, unless you chose you want to?"

"Why would I chose to do that?" Arnold asked, not able to think of any reason why he'd put his existence on the line.

"Because Dave isn't going to be around forever. There will become a point where you don't care if you live or die because he's not around anymore. Being Ace gives you the chance to see Listy again, even if he's not your own."

Arnold closed his mouth tight, pressing his lips together. He didn't want to imagine a life without Dave, but it had become so much easier to see, especially after Rimmerworld.

"How do you know that?" Rimmer glared.

"From experience." Ace dodged the question, looking away.

"So you leave now?" Dave asked.

"I'm going to spend a night resting before I go. Being offline doesn't make it seem very restful and is always jarring after waking up." Ace replied.

"You're Dave died, didn't he?" Dave asked Ace, seeing that Arnold didn't even question the statement.

"Yes, of old age thank God. There were some hairy situations over the years where I thought we were both not going to make it. This isn't about me, this is about you, Arnie. Wildfire has agreed to you not being Ace, but has another request. She would like you to continue repairing light-bee's, of the other Ace Rimmer's who cannot be repaired by her. She's always assumed if a light-bee was beyond her repair, that this is impossible. But you have proven that Wildfire was wrong in this case. Arnie, will you become the office Ace light-bee repairman? Fixing the Arnold Rimmer's of the multiverse who need repairing?"

Arnold looked at Dave, wondering if this offer was some type of joke, some horrible joke. A trick to get his confidence up, only to be taken away moments later like what had happened so many times over the years.

 He started back at Ace in disbelief, pointing to himself. "You want me, a hopeless goit who can't do anything right to repair light-bees? You want to trust me, intentionally with other people's lives?"

"You are not hopeless, Arnold." Ace said, dropping the Ace Rimmer voice, which threw Arnold especially the use of his first name instead of a nickname. "You are not hopeless, and neither am I. It was something that took me a long time to accept. Longer then it should. Accepting that I am not hopeless was hard to hear when I grew up with those around me calling me hopeless, bonehead, slow, wet, weak along with other names. My parents, brothers, family, teachers, Church congregation, schoolmates, work colleges, teachers, my Lister and Cat and the list, goes on. It's not true. You are hopeless at some things, that is true. However, you are not hopeless at everything. You proved that you are not hopeless at everything when you repaired me. Your area of expertise is just different than my own. You may not be able to fix every light-bee that comes your way. But the ones that you do fix, you are giving a longer life too. A life that they would not have had before."

"Really? You really think I can do this?" Arnold turned to Dave, who was also encouraging him to accept Ace's offer. "I'd be honoured to accept," Arnold beamed. "Can you imagine, me fixing holograms? My parents would not believe it, same with my brothers and probably anyone else that knew me." After basking in his accomplishment, Arnold turned back to Ace. "What about the ones that I can fix? What happens if they need more training? Am I expected to train them as well? I can't do that? I don't even know what training and Ace needs. What happens to the ones I can't repair?"

"The ones that are repaired, Wildfire will deal with taking them to someone that can train them if they need more training. You don't need to worry about that. As for the ones that can't be repaired, We'll leave you a few coffins. They take the coffin containing the light-bee's to a planet that we call Ace Rimmerworld. It's the location most Ace's both alive and dead go to rest."

"What about the ones that don't go there?"

"They have someone left behind to take their remains, usually Dave Lister. Or other arrangements in place. My remains are going to be buried next to my Lister when I do go. Arnie, it's going to be a blessing having you on the team." Ace pat Arnold on the shoulder. "Now if you don't mind, I need some rest. I have no idea why I still need sleep, being dead and all."

 

The four members of the Red Dwarf crew who were stuck on Starbug stood near the airlock in the cargo bay to say goodbye to Ace. Arnold and Ace had stayed out of each other's way while Ace caught up with Dave, Cat and Kryten.

"I'll keep an eye out for your Red Dwarf, maybe it will turn up in a dimension and have the same coordinates here." Ace said. Turning to Arnold and Dave. "Thank you for everything." He hugged both men, Arnold actually accepting the hug. "I'll be back next time I get myself into a kip."

"Just don't let it be too soon. I need to recover from this time first, and then there is the issue of supplies." Arnold replied, already cataloguing what he would need to strip from derelicts and stations.

"Don't worry too much about supplies, Wildfire will bring you what you need," Ace promised.

Kryten was crying when Ace hugged him. "I am so sorry that you were in the medi-bay for so long Mister Ace. If I had known I would have helped. I wish I could've done more to help during your stay."

"It's fine Kryten, you were in the cockpit keeping up safe while Arnie and Skip helped me out." Ace clapped the droid on the back one final time before a quick conversation with Cat.

"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast," Ace gave them all one last salute before he left through the airlock, using a suit and helmet to give the appearance he was still alive.

Arnold watched as Wildfire disappeared from their dimension. He hoped that it was a very long time before he saw Ace next. With a yawn, he headed towards the living quarter's to sleep for a week or two.


	3. Three

Despite having his own room on Starbug, during the day Arnold still spent most of his time in Dave's room when he was not watching the cockpit. Cat was on shift at the moment and Kryten was somewhere cleaning. Dave was alone, standing in front of the mirror, trying to pull nose hairs out with tongs.

Arnold tutted, seeing Dave in a pink dressing gown that Kryten had found the day before and washed up for the last human to wear. Sadly being on Starbug, they didn't have much in the way of clothes. Rimmer wore holographic clothing most of the time, so he didn't ruin the few uniforms that he had on Starbug. Why did he have real uniforms on Starbug when he'd been a soft-light hologram? Well, he wanted something in his room when they moved a few things in. This was only supposed to be a holiday home, not a permanent home. But when Dave was bringing things down to the ship, he'd insisted that he would have a wardrobe with clothes and shoes in it, taking up space that wasn't really needed at the time. Said clothing was old uniforms that he didn't really have an interest in wearing anyway.

Arnold's room was a lot tidier than the pigsty that was Dave's room. Probably sterile actually. It didn't really feel like a bedroom that belonged to someone on a permanent basis with no personal touch that said a person actually lived in the room. Even though Kryten cleaned every day, Dave's room was always a mess and being honest, it actually wasn't a pigsty anymore, especially not in comparison to their shared room on the Red Dwarf.

"What are you doing?" Arnold asked, watching Lister trying to pluck nose hairs out. Didn't he know that it would be so much easier if he used the tool that was invented to pluck out nose hairs, like real tweezers? They had a heap in the medi-bay, and yet Dave insisted on doing everything the hard way.

"Plucking nose hairs," Lister scrunched up his face as he successfully removed a hair, continuing on after the pain had subsided. "Woman have childbirth, and we have this, painful nose hairs. The most painful thing I have ever experienced."

"You'd know wouldn't you Listy, you've done both," Arnold teased from the doorway before deciding to come into the room.

The twins weren't mentioned much. Jim and Bexley were still a sore point for them both. They couldn't help wondering how things would've turned out if the boys had been normal and healthy, without weird ageing issues that resulted of being from two dimensions.

"I wonder how Deb and Arlene are coping with the boys?" Dave asked. Both silent for a moment, neither wanting to dwell on the painful subject.

Arnold moved the conversation back to common, comfortable grounds for them both. "Listy, Listy, Listy," Rimmer tutted. "What would the ladies think if they saw you in that monstrosity?" Teasing Dave for his choice in clothing.

"Hey, it's comfortable man," Dave defended himself, turning back to the mirror and attacking his nose hairs once again. "Not like there are any ladies around to see me. Anyone else other than the four of us for that matter. You're the only one that actually cares what I wear. Cat likes me looking worse than him, and Kryten's happy when I wear clothes that he's washed for me."

Arnold tried to pretend that he didn't care about what Dave wore, but the simple fact was he did care. He liked everyone to look presentable at least. Taking a seat, Arnold opened up the book he had about holograms. If he was going to be fixing holograms for Wildfire, he was going to make certain he knew everything about them. It was a nice change of pace from his astronavigation books and his engineering books. From being a hologram himself for years, he found that he knew most of what the book was talking about. It was so refreshing reading a book he understood. He actually felt relaxed while he was reading instead of the normal stress he experienced while reading.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you," Arnold warned in a teasing tone, noticing what Dave was trying to do now that he'd finished plucking his nose hairs. He'd broken the cap off his tooth earlier that day and had glued it back with wood glue instead of getting Kryten to put the cap back in properly.

"Smeg off Rimmer," Dave said, ignoring the warning as he proceeded to try and floss his teeth, only to find that he couldn't pull the floss free, it was now stuck between his tooth and his tooth cap.

In a sing-song voice, Arnold teased. "Told you so." Before going back to his reading, not helping with the floss.

 

Dave had been unsuccessful at removing the floss or finding anything to cut the floss. It was now hanging from his mouth out. The floss insisted on being stuck in his mouth and impossible to break. Arnold was ignoring Dave as he fumbled about the room and Kryten who'd come in to clean, the droid was also admiring how good the dressing gown looked on Dave. The droid was also no help in getting the floss removed.

They all looked up when Cat entered the room. "Hey guys, I found a weird thing with a capital wee, it's heading straight for us."

Being Cat language, that could've been anything. Something dangerous or something friendly or nothing at all. It could be actual wee for all they knew. Dave was asking for more information from the Cat, not getting anywhere with deciphering what the Cat was saying.

"Is it a wibbly thing or a swirly thing, sir?" Kryten asked, attempting to  get closer to finding out what the Cat sensed coming towards them.

"I wouldn't want to commit at this stage and look like a fool," Cat exclaimed, getting more eye rolls from Arnold. "Come see for yourself."

Which is what they should've been doing for a start, reading from the console what was coming towards them instead of getting Cat to try and translate for them. While it was easier to understand Cat now then it had been a few years ago, it was still hard at times to understand him.

"What have we got?" Arnold asked, not understanding what was on the console just yet.

"It's an anomaly in space, and it's coming directly for us sirs," Kryten explained.

Arnold didn't like what his console was telling him now that he knew where in space he was looking. It was an anomaly alright, one that was big and fast and coming directly towards them like Kryten said. They could not outrun it. Arnold was a master at running away from things and knew when something could not be outrun.

"I'm going to outrun it," Cat exclaimed what Arnold already knew what was impossible

Arnold stood to his feet. "You have fun with that. I'm going next door, to hide under the table, because we are not outrunning that thing, whatever it is. Too-da-loo."

The other's didn't even turn when Arnold did exactly what he said. They didn't even call him a coward today, even if that was what he was. The anomaly read a little bit like Ace's dimension-jumping ship whenever they had an encounter with it, just not the same as the previous times they had anything to do with Ace. If it was Ace coming to get a light-bee repair, well he had another thing coming because he was not in a state to fix holograms at the moment. If the anomaly destroyed the ship, sitting under a table was not going to save him any more than being in the cockpit would.

It was a rough several moments, as the ship shook and turned. Arnold's head coming through the table on more than one occasion as he subconsciously put himself into soft-light mode. As quickly as the roughness started, everything stopped.

Arnold stayed put for a few moments, "is it over?" He shouted at the rest of the crew as they left the cockpit.

"There is a disturbance with space-time in the engine room sir. We are going down to check it out." Kryten replied.

 

They arrived in the engine room deck, there was something big blue and shiny in the engine room.

"What is that thing?" Arnold asked, most concerned if it was dangerous or not.

"It's a dimensional rift sir, to a parallel dimension," Kryten explained.

"So I was right when I thought that the bumpy ride felt similar to Ace coming into our dimension?" Arnold asked, wondering if this rift that they'd come across had been left by Ace. He'd been in the dimension just recently. Maybe jumping between dimensions left some type of damage?

"No way you thought that," Dave replied with an eye roll. No one believed him, even when he really was telling the truth. Arnold didn't argue the point. He was focusing on the fact there was a dimensional rift that was giving access directly to the ship. It probably chose this area to break through because of the enlarged cargo bay from when they'd broken the time stream by killing their future selves. It was close to the area that was affected the most.

"Let's have a goosy." Dave walked into the dimension rift without any protective gear. He didn't even know if there was oxygen on the other side. He was always so reckless. And Holly expected Arnold to keep that thing safe and sane? He was failing at his job.

"Are you mad?" Arnold shouted. Certain the answer to that question was yes. "You don't even know what is in that thing. It could kill you, or you could get trapped in another dimension, separated from me forever."

"Separated from you?" Cat asked, "why didn't you say so." He then rushed after Dave through the rift.

Kryten following after the pair making sure they both got through safely. Arnold paced in front of the rift, glaring at it, waiting for the others to return. He'd followed them down here because he didn't want to be alone and didn't want to be wondering what was happening and here he was doing exactly that. Taking a deep breath that wasn't needed, he took a step through the rift.

Arnold gulped nervously as he got a look at the blue tunnel that seemed to go on forever. He couldn't hear or see the others. He looked at a hole above him in the tunnel that just had black nothingness behind it. Not wanting to be alone, Arnold followed the rest of the crew. He didn't want to be alone. He'd just spend the entire time imagining the worst of the worst things happening. Those seconds of not knowing what was happening were horrible. Arnold could not handle five minutes on Starbug alone, how was Wildfire going to have him as Ace? He wasn't going to last five minutes in his first real battle if he accepted being Ace. He was glad that he turned the Ace offer down. Or what happens if this weird anomaly was Ace's way of getting him the light-bees and all the parts he would need to repair the holograms?

Walking slowly and carefully through the tunnel, not wanting to fall into a hole that entered non-space he hoped that the tunnel hadn't broken off and wasn't leading him to a different location to the location of the others. Looking back at the entrance he gulped. The tunnel seemed to be destabilising slightly.

Relief flooded through him when he finally heard Dave, Kryten and the other's talking. They were talking to another version of themselves. Kryten from the other dimension was gold in colour and better maintained to their own Kryten. Cat looked very much the same but wearing a different suit, thank God, they didn't have to listen to Cat complaining about being caught in the same outfit as someone else, even if that someone else was another version of him. The most intriguing of the group was a clean cut version of Dave. A Dave Lister who was a hologram which must mean that the final version of the group must be himself! A version of himself that had lived and was not Ace. He and Kryten might actually be friends in that universe because he was alive so Kryten had to respect him. It would only make sense that Holly would turn Dave on to keep another Arnold sane after all, Dave was the only one below him in rank that he had any authority over.

The excitement was immediately crushed when he saw that the living survivor of the Red Dwarf was not another version of himself, it was Kristine smegging Kochanski, the smegging Console Officer whom Dave had a crush on from the first moment he joined the crew. The woman who always made Rimmer sound like scum, something Arnold to this day still did not know how she did. Was probably the Scottish accent.

Arnold let out a heavy sigh, Dave was never going to get over his crush on Kristine, knowing that he'd been brought back to keep her sane, even if it was in another dimension. This Kristine was also a lot cleaner cut then the Kristine that he'd known. Looking like she did now, Arnold found her almost attractive. He tried to shake the feeling away, it was probably because she was the first woman he'd seen since - it had been a while but he believed it was the alternate versions himself and Dave from the parallel dimension.

"Remember coming back from shore leave on Mimas?" Holo-Dave asked Dave. None of them had noticed him or Kochanski yet, though he and Kochanski were eyeing one another off as they walked closer to the group.

"Yeah, that was a fun trip. Rimmer started a bar brawl, and on the way back to the ship." Dave smiled.

"So you didn't find Frankenstein?" Dave asked.

"I found Frankie, felt sorry for her. She was so helpless looking, so I get her vaccinated, where I found out she was expecting kittens and took her back to the ship planning to raise her and her kitten on Fiji when I had enough money." Dave replied, reminiscing about his mangy pregnant cat that he'd brought back. The one that Arnold knew about, but never said anything about. Why? He still didn't know.

"Frankenstein in my dimension was a kitten," Holo-Dave replied.

"Then where did all the cat babies come from to create Cat?" Dave asked the question that Arnold had been wondering himself.

"I'm not the only person to smuggle a cat on board," Holo-Dave replied, going into a story about how he'd gone to the planet to intentionally find a cat to get himself thrown into stasis after breaking up with Kristine. "Krissy found the cat when I got back to the ship. She didn't have the heart to destroy her and got thrown in stasis instead."

Dave looked like Christmas had come when his attention was drawn to Kristine who'd finally joined the group. He spent a few moments trying to pull the floss from his teeth.

"Listy, Listy, Listy what would the ladies think if they saw you in that monstrosity?" Arnold repeated the question from earlier. "You didn't care before, but you obviously do now. Kochanski and Lister never dated in our dimension," Arnold said from behind Dave, drawing everyone's attention to him.

Dave gave him a knowing look, knowing that he would've followed eventually and wouldn't want to be left alone. It took a lot of effort not to cling to Dave, he was still terrified that something was going to happen that would cause them to be separated from one another.

Holo-Dave looked intrigued by Arnold, while Kristine still had a surprised look from when she'd first seen him.

Holo-Dave turned to Dave. "Rimmer was brought back to keep you sane? How does that work? Does he keep you sane by driving you insane? Makes me glad to be the dead one and not stuck in your living hell."

"Rimmer's not that bad once you get to really know him," Dave said in reply. Arnold was surprised.

"What are you suffering from, Stockholm syndrome or something?" Holo-Dave asked with a laugh.

Kryten turned to Dave in a way that suggested he was about to start listing every one of Arnold's bad qualities. "Not that bad, are you forgetting it was only earlier today that he went and cowered underneath the table to hide from the dimensional rift before we knew what it was. And-"

Cat cut Kryten off before Kryten could list off more bad qualities. "Are we talking about the same Goal Post head?"

"Maybe I should have left when Ace gave me the chance," Arnold pouted. "Clearly I am not appreciated here."

"Kristine, you look great," Dave complimented, ignoring Arnold's self-pity.

"You look pretty amazing yourself," Kristine's suggested sarcastically. Arnold was surprised to hear a posh English accent that sounded almost Ionian and not the Scottish accent he was used to. "We've come to trade."

"We don't have much supply wise that we can trade," Arnold replied. Which was true, they were low on everything.

"Information perhaps?" She sounded doubtful that they'd have any worthwhile information when she made the request.

"I have records of everything that has happened to us since arriving in deep space," Arnold answered, trying to prove to the snooty officer that they did have something that was worthwhile trading for. "Including all the information from a parallel dimension that we visited that was the same in every way, except that everyone's genders were reversed in that dimension."

Kristine immediately dismissed Arnold's offer for information, writing off his records as useless before she'd even looked at them. Something that the officers had been doing all his working life. "There is something you could do for us." She turned her attention back to Dave. "I want to have children one day." Dave was getting excited at the prospect of having sex with Kristine to give her those children. Arnold smirked when it hit Dave that all Kristine wanted was a sperm donation.

 

The two groups of four were standing in the tunnel to say a final goodbye after supplies were traded. Arnold was hoping to prove Kristine wrong with the information he'd exchanged with them with his knowledge on hologram repairs, other dimensions and some of the other adventures they'd had over the years.

"Wish we could spend more time chatting," Holo-Dave said to the group. "You especially, Rimmer. It's nice to see after all this time that you're still the same smeghead that was my shift leader. You made me realise that I miss you a heap, man."

Arnold looked at his own Dave helplessly and confused as Holo-Dave hugged him. He didn't know what to do or what he did to deserve the hug. Awkwardly he placed his arms around the other man. Giving him a hug.

The hug was broken by an explosion and the tunnel destabilising. Arnold was pushed away by Holo-Dave.

Both Dave's calling out for Kristine as the blast ripped a while between them. Arnold jumped the gap that was between himself and his own group. He was not getting trapped in a strange dimension or no dimension. A yelp was heard from Dave as Kristine had managed to grab onto his floss, keeping Kristine on their side of the growing dimensional rift. Arnold gulped. If he had hesitated to jump, he would've been stuck in the other dimension with the clean-cut holo-Dave, Kryten and Cat. On second thought that was more tempting than his ragtag team. He could just not abandon them for better versions, no matter how tempting. This ragtag team was his family.

Arnold held onto Dave, keeping him from toppling into the hole after Kristine, kneeling over the edge, feeling dizzy at the non-space below them. Trying to ignore his natural survival instincts to abandon everyone and get back to the ship as quickly as possible. Trying to stay conscious as he leaned over the hole. He would topple them all in if he fainted now.

Arnold leant over the edge of the hole, leaning down, grabbing tightly onto Kristine's outreaching hand, pulling her up easily, overestimating the strength that he now had as a hard-light hologram as he pulled the woman up. Keeping hold of her as she called out for her own Dave, trying to jump the holes between dimensions.

"Dave," Kristine help her hands out, calling for her lover. Arnold not letting go despite her struggle. "Let me go, I need to get back to my Dave."

"It's too dangerous, you can't jump that. You'll die," Arnold scolded her. He had a high sense of self-preservation, he knew that the gap was now impossible to jump.

"Kris, it's too dangerous. Stay with Rimmer and the other me. I'll find a way back to you eventually. Stay safe. I love you."  Holo-Dave called out to his girlfriend.

"Love you forever," Kristine called over the growing rift. Arnold carried her back to their side of the dimensional rift before it closed them in for good.

 

Arnold only put Kristine down once the dimensional rift was fully closed, which took just under an hour. She kicked and screamed the entire time, wanting to go through and find a way home. It was only when the rift entirely closed that she noticed their current location.

"This isn't the Red Dwarf. Where is it?" Kristine yelled at them, still upset and frustrated at getting stuck in another dimension. They hadn't gone into each other's dimension while transferring supplies.

"We sort of lost Red Dwarf," Dave sheepishly admitted.

Kristine screamed at them. "How can you lose a ship as big as the Red Dwarf. It's big, its red and the size of a small moon? How do you lose a moon-sized ship?"

Both men shrugged. Cat had abandoned them long ago not wanting to put up with the banshee screaming.

"You mean that I am stuck here with Pricilla, Queen of the Space Junk, a noxious waste of resources that should've never been turned on in the first place and two cheap copies of my other friends. There is no way I am staying here with you lot in this hunk of junk. We need to get the link way back." Kristine insulted the crew. Arnold was just happy that he wasn't the first one that she'd insulted.

"I know that you don't like being stuck with us. We don't like being stuck with you, either," Arnold crossed his arms suspecting that he was the only one that didn't like being stuck with her. He knew that Dave never wanted her to go back, Cat would warm up to her now that she wasn't screaming because she was a woman and Kryten would be happy about cleaning up after another person. "We need to try and make the best out of a bad situation. I don't know how long you will be stuck with us. Until you return, you can have my room, and I'll go back to sharing with Listy here. You should have a lie-down, it's been a long day for you."

"I'm going home to my own dimension, today. I don't need a bedroom," Kristine insisted. Sitting in front of the spot that the portal had been.

"Kris, Rimmer's right, you need to rest," Dave agreed. "I know that you want to go back to your own dimension, but that isn't going to happen while you're this exhausted."

Kristine came up with the next excuse. "It's Kochanski to you, we don't know each other. You are not my Dave. I wouldn't want to impose."

Dave tried to hide his hurt expression to Kristine's hostile tone to his name. "And you wouldn't be imposing, Rimmer spends nearly all his time in my room anyway. We shared a room on the Red Dwarf, sharing again is not going to be a problem."

"I'll even move all my stuff out now and remake the bed, so you have fresh sheets," Arnold headed towards the bunk, sensing that seeing a familiar face was hurting Kristine. Arnold turned to Dave, hoping that you would listen for once. "You should head to the cockpit and see if Cat can sniff out any more of those dimensional rifts."

Dave gave them a weak smile. "Yeah, I'll do that. Kris I mean Kochanski, I'll be in the cockpit if you need anything. It's just at the end of this hallway."

"Not like it will be hard to find with how small the ship is. Lister," Kristine stopped him in his tracks. "Thank you, I know you are just trying to help. I just need some time to myself, let everything sink in."

Arnold picked a box up on the way to his room so he could begin moving things right away. The first thing he did was strip and remake the bed. He knew that Kryten would get upset about missing out on the chore, but he at least had sheets to wash, dry and iron. Arnold would not take that away from Kryten.

"I know it's not much, and the pipes squeak. I just turn my hearing off when it gets too bad. Kryten knows how to rouse me when I do that. We'll try to find a way to fix the pipes if it gets too much for you." Arnold got nervous before he mentioned the next thing, that he hoped would not be out of line. "Miss Kochanski ma'am. I don't know how long you will be here for, but if it ends up being long term." He was turning bright red unable to keep the squeak out of his voice. "There are sanitary pads still in the medi-bay, hidden in the back corner of the cabinet on the far right. We never bothered removing them when we took Starbug over as our own, and they've been useful as a last resort when Lister's been injured, and we've run out of bandages."

Arnold turned away, not believing that he'd managed to tell her. He hoped that she didn't ask him to repeat that information. He could not trust Dave to remember that it was an item that Kristine would need and Cat was not human and who knew if woman's hygiene needs were still in Kryten's database or not.

"Do you know how many month's worth of supplies I have?" Kristine asked, slightly amused and slightly worried about low supply. "I never had to be concerned about supply on the Red Dwarf. Being the only woman, I have enough to last me several lifetimes with all the vending machines, woman's quarters and the medi-bays."

"I think we've got three months worth not sure how much you will use so that is a guess. And if your Red Dwarf is anything like our you'd also have a full cargo bay," Arnold added.

"With just me, I had no reason to touch that supply. How do you even know that?" Kochanski asked. Arnold thought it might be intrigue and not disgust.

"I inventoried everything on the ship, and when I say everything, I mean everything. That includes all sanitary items, condoms, other methods of birth control, pregnancy testers. There were a number that was not accounted for that I think we're getting stolen by the crew that worked down there."

The bed was made, and he had everything of his in the box. "I should have everything." Arnold stood to his feet with the box in hand. "If you need anything..." He said awkwardly before heading towards the exit for his former room.

"Arnold, thank you," Kristine said. "I know that it must have been hard for you to mention."

"We'll never talk about this again. If you end up staying with us long term, I'll make sure to add that to items that we take from the derelicts we raid." Mentioning what he just said he'd never mention.

As he left, he had a slight spring in his step, feeling a little happy that Kristine used his first name before she'd used Dave's first name.


	4. Four

Arnold didn't mind sharing a room with Dave again. He'd grown used to it on the Red Dwarf, actually missed it on Starbug but had been too much of a coward to bring anything up. He didn't want the others to know how much he hated being in a room on his own, how lonely he felt when he was alone, how scared every noise would make him when he was tired.

He added more of a personal touch to his side of the room then his lonesome room had ever got. Hanging up freshly made posters. A timetable for learning about holograms that as recently made and his books. His clothing put away in the cupboard, dumping everything of Dave's out to be sorted by Kryten.

"Why do you still have that no smoking sign?" Dave asked noticing that it had also gone up on the wall. "I don't even smoke anymore."

"Because it's mine. The only reason you don't smoke anymore is because I flushed all your cigarettes into deep space to force you to quit cold turkey and we haven't found anything since." Arnold said, proud and happy that Dave didn't pick up the habit again after the twins were born. That felt like a lifetime ago now. He noticed Dave's hand linger on the caesarean scar from long ago, knowing that was what had caused him to quit and must have been his reminder for why he quit.

The ship was rocked by a nearby explosion. Both men shared a glance before running to the cockpit where Kryten and Cat were already seated. Kristine was not far behind. Arnold was looking at his consol recognising the ships name immediately. "Oh Listy, your wife found us." Arnold teased, trying to remain calm. He flinched as Kristine put a hand on his shoulder, leaning over him to get a good look at the console.

"Sorry, just you're in what is normally my seat when I'm manning the console in Starbug," Kristine apologised.

Arnold gulped wishing she wouldn't stand so close. "Well, you'll find that this is my job."

"Oh God, it really is the missus," Dave complained after getting the scan that Kryten had put on the monitor of the GELF that was tracking and firing at them.

"That what? I thought Arnold was only joking when he said she was your wife," Kristine said.

"Oh no not joking in the slightest, that had a really good story behind it." Arnold happily told the officer the story of landing on the planet, needing parts for Starbug and Dave reluctantly leaving his GELF bride on their wedding day after they'd got the parts they needed. "Needless to say, she wasn't happy being stood up like that and has been following us ever since."

"Do you get stalked like this by orang-utans at the London Zoo?" Kristine asked Dave.

"I like her, can we keep her?" Arnold smiled in Kristine's direction, hoping that it wasn't to forward. He was surprised to see Kryten looked horrified at the prospect of keeping Kristine forever. It wasn't often that he came across someone that had a similar sense of humour to his own and to find that in Kristine Kochankis of all people was just a delightful surprise and highly unexpected.

Kristine was leaning over Arnold's shoulder again, reaching over him to press the buttons on her console, while Kryten was translating the GELFs message for Dave. They wanted Dave handed over to them. His GELF bride wanted him, and if she couldn't have Dave, then no one could have Dave.

"Okay, this has gone on long enough. Patch me into the MCN and lay down and SS line," Kristine instructed the miss fit crew.

Dave turned, looking at Arnold who just shrugged. He didn't have a clue what she just said. Kristine looked at the crew like they were crazy for not understanding her, reading out a whole heap of numbers that were making Arnold's head spin. "Now just follow those cords?"

"Cords what now?" Cat turned around, looking rather confused. Dave shrugged still not knowing what Kristine said.

Arnold knew what she wanted this time, only because he was looking at the console himself. "She wants you to head towards the blue star." Numbers may be his weakness, but he could read his console in his sleep.

"Well, why didn't she so?" Cat exclaimed, moving the ship in the directions Arnold had pointed out.

"Need to keep to simple terms or these goits don't understand," Arnold replied smugly.

Dave turned around. "Hey, you don't understand what she is saying either. You're just reading off the console."

Arnold tried to push back a nervous gulp because what Dave said was true. Kristine was speaking another language as far as he was concerned and he never did get the hang of other languages.

Kristine continued reading out directions that Arnold would repeat so Cat and Dave could both understand.

Kristine put her hands up in frustration, slamming them on the console. They were safe and had survived another day. "How is it that you are still alive? This is basic astronavigation. You should know the correct terms when relaying information and flying the ship."

"I was taught how to fly by Mister Rimmer," Kryten replied, trying to shift the blame to the hologram for his so-called poor performance. "Everything I learnt about flying and navigating I learnt from him."

"Considering I was still a soft-light hologram at the time, I didn't do a bad job," Arnold said, still proud of the fact that he'd successfully taught Kryten to fly. "Both Kryten and myself have licences handed out by the Space Corps. Listy here has no interest in getting his licence or learning the first thing about astronavigation and Cat, well he's a Cat."

Dave turned around, standing up from his console. "And we all know that Rimmer constantly fails any exams he takes. I'm surprised that he managed to get his licence. We haven't been doing too badly for a bunch of uneducated slime."

"Not too badly?" Kristine shrieked. "You lost your Red Dwarf with no idea where to go, and you got me trapped in your dimension, and you're only surviving by the skin of your teeth. If it weren't for me just now, you'd all be dead."

"No. We would not be dead," Arnold insisted. His survival instincts were rather high. If they had been at the risk of dying during that encounter, he would've been under the table in the next room.

"He has a point, if Rimmer though we were going to die, this coward would've gone into hiding, like all the other times we almost died." Dave corrected.

Arnold closed his eyes, it was true, but he still hated hearing it aloud from those around him.

Kristine huffed in frustration, leaving the men in the drive room.

"Are all women like that?" Cat asked. "Bitchy and whiney like Rimmer?"

"Nah, not all the time. She'll settle down once she gets used to us." Dave said, just happy to have a real woman on board once again.

 

Arnold leant back on the spare bunk in Dave's room, trying to remind himself that this was now his room as well. He didn't mind Kristine taking over his room, he never liked it in the first place, but he did hate that Kristine was taking over his console and his favourite food that Dave and Cat didn't like, leaving him on holographic food that tasted bland and didn't leave him satisfied.

Kryten was in their room ironing. Ironing Arnold's uniforms since they had been moved, so they needed to be re-ironed according to sanitation droid logic.

"All she does is talk about her, Dave. She keeps moving the salad cream." Kryten complained about everything that he didn't like about Kristine, not even keeping it a secret that he didn't like the woman. To Arnold it was refreshing, he'd never heard the droid hate anyone before, not even him even though he knew Kryten hated him.

Kryten's pitch continued rising. "I took her a glass of milk when she was showering. I've seen her naked." Sounding crushed at seeing the only woman on the ship, possibly in the universe, naked.

Arnold sat up, putting his book down. "What does she look like?" He asked before his brain had a chance to catch up. He cursed himself, he was meant to be the gentleman of the group, he shouldn't be asking perverted questions like that. It was a slow day, and they would all take any form of new entertainment and at the moment that was Kristine.

Dave had leant in, to listen in anticipation of Kryten's reply.

"She's got all those in and out bits that Mister Lister likes," Kryten replied in a high squeak that suggested he was very upset about that fact.

Both Arnold and Dave sat back, disappointed with the response. Of course, Arnold should've expected that type of response.

Kryten turned to Lister. "You're going to end up liking her more than me."

Dave looked back at Kryten, all defensive. "No, I'm not. I'll always like you more than her."

"He has a point, Listy," Arnold had to add, it was an observation he'd noticed over the years even before the crew was wiped out. "You met me first, and you like me the least out of everyone here, everyone we've ever met. The next person is Cat, he's above me on the list but below Kryten. You met Kryten after Cat, and you like him more than myself and Cat. So following your pattern, you will like Miss Kochanski the most since you have just met her thus liking her more than Kryten, the Cat and myself.

"See, even Mister Rimmer can see it," Kryten agreed.

Dave turned, hissing in Arnold's direction. "Not helping Rimmer." He turned back to Kryten. "I'll always like you the best. Kris could never replace you, I promise."

Arnold stopped listening, going back to his book as Kryten asked Dave a whole string of questions and listed off scenarios where it was obvious that in reality, Dave would choose Kristine over the droid. Who in their right mind would choose folding sheets over spending time with a naked attractive single woman? Not that Kristine was exactly single, but she was highly attractive. Arnold didn't even bother contradicting Dave, he'd had enough of the crying mechanoid who could see through the lies.

"Why can't Miss Kochanski be more like Mister Rimmer. He didn't have any in or out bits, hardly at all."

"Leave me out of this, and what do you mean hardly at all? I don't have any in or out bits. I look nothing like a woman." Arnold screeched.

Kryten chirped, "But you're perfect. You have womanly like hips and legs Mister Rimmer, sir."

Arnold glared at the droid, this was not the first time he had been told he had legs and hips like a woman. Kryten ignored the glares he was getting from Arnold as Dave was smirking about the comments.

"I'm going to end up alone again, like I did on the Nova 5." Kryten continued his whining.

Arnold had no clue how Kristine being around equalled being alone again.

"You killed the crew," Dave said rather bluntly.

Arnold put his book down, "Why do we let a droid who killed his crew on our ship?"

"You also killed the crew? Why do we leave you turned on?" Dave added.

"That was an accident," Arnold whined. He still felt guilty that it was the drive plate he didn't repair correctly that had ended up killing the entire crew of the Red Dwarf, including himself. He needed to ask Kristine if the accident had happened the same way in her dimension, with Dave around he should've been there to help him with the drive plate.

"So was Kryten killing the Nova 5," Dave stated the fact that Arnold already knew and had known for years.

"What about the SS Augusta, I ended up alone there as well?" Kryten pointed out. His first crew and posting.

"They all died of old age," Lister reminded Kryten.

"And if everything goes well here, Lister and Cat will both die of old age," Arnold said, hoping that was the way both would end up going.

"You see, I'm going to end up alone." Kryten sobbed.

"You'll never end up alone again, you'll still have Rimmer when Cat and I both die," Dave said, trying to put the droid at ease.

"You know what, I may end up taking Ace's offer to be Ace after you and Cat both die. Spending the rest of eternity with only Kryten does not sound very appealing." Arnold said now seeing what Ace had meant. Thinking about an eternity with Kryten was not appealing, yet he was okay with an eternity with Holly when Holly had originally turned him on.

That didn't help Kryten's mood, who ended up storming out the room.

"It's nice," Arnold smiled to himself.

"What is possibly nice right now?" Dave asked, looking at him like he was insane.

"Kryten has found someone that he dislikes more than me. I know it's not going to last. Once Kristine's been around for a while, I'll go back to being the most disliked person. But for the first time in my entire life-existence, I am not the most hated person around. I'm going to enjoy it while I can."

 

To keep Dave busy and out of Kristine's way, Arnold had taken him down to the cargo bay to help catalogue the items they'd received from Kristine's dimension. He knew that Dave always hated this task and would whine and complain each time had to do such a boring task. He hadn't even noticed Dave had stopped moving until Dave spoke.

"It wasn't our Rob O Ros, it was ouroboros," Dave said in complete and utter fascination.

"Of course it says ouroboros what type of gimboid think the batteries are called our Rob O Ros," Arnold snapped.

"No, not the battery name, the message that was written on the side of me box," Dave replied.

"The one you were found in under a pool table when you were six weeks old?" Arnold asked. It had been a long time since that story had been mentioned.

"Yeah, Gran told me that they thought my parents couldn't decide if they wanted to name me Rob or Ross."

"You don't look like a Robert or a Ross," Arnold replied.

"Gran said the same thing which is why she got dad to name me David," Dave replied. "I know who my parents are."

"Since when? The last time you mentioned this to me you had no clue who your parents are."

"Since just now," Dave pointed to the box. "Don't you see, I know who I am now. I understand. You know the in vitro tube that Kris gave me to put my sperm into, the frozen embryo. It's me. At some point, after the baby is born, we time travel to the past and leave me under a pool table. We wrote Our Rob or Ros on the box to explain. To complete a circle of humanity that will never truly end. Actually, I've seen a photo of my box, and I'm convinced that it's your handwriting. I'm me own father and Kris is me, mum."

Arnold had heard some crazy things since he came into deep space. He found himself believing Dave. "Oh, that explains so much. I told you that you were an incest baby. I thought your parents were brother and sister. It was actually much much better." Arnold rubbed his hands together. "Instead it's mother and son. Probably mother and grandfather and so on going on and on. I thought your family tree was nuts before with you and your female self being the twins parents but this just gets better and better. I bet Deborah is her own mother or father or however it works in that dimension."

"I have to tell her," Dave stood up.

"And tell Kristine what exactly? She's not going to believe you." Arnold asked.

"Believe what?" Kristine asked from the doorway.

"Miss Kochanski," Arnold greeted. "Didn't see you. Listy here thinks that the foetus in the in vitro tube is him."

Dave glared at Arnold for sharing the news so bluntly. Arnold didn't know how Dave was going to tell her, he'd be all wishy-washy and take forever to get to the point or tell it in a long-winded way that didn't make any sense.

"Seriously, what were you going to tell me?" Kristine asked.

"That, after I went and found the photo of me box to see if it is really Rimmer's handwriting on the side of the box," Dave replied, walking to the back towards his room, access the computer console that they didn't use much to pull up the photo's that had been duplicated onto Starbug.

It didn't take long for Dave to find the photo he was looking for. His first photo that showed him in the box on top of the pool table he'd been found under. They could clearly see the handwriting on the side that was unmistakable as Arnolds.

"I don't understand how this is even possible. Why would we send a baby to the past to grow up as you?" Arnold asked.

"A time loop that humanity never truly ends. Because there is going to be a me who is abandoned to grow up and have me who will abandon me for the me to grow up and continue the circle so the human race will never truly go extinct." Dave explained in his weird logic that gave Arnold a headache.

"If the embryo is really Dave, how do we get him to the past? I don't know about you lot, but I have never come across any means of time travel." Kristine asked.

"We've come across time travel a few times," Arnold replied, wondering how much he should share with her before he may as well tell her everything if she was going to stick around. "Once on the Red Dwarf, there was a stasis leak that went back in time three weeks before the accident. I was soft-light at the time and could not exist off of Red Dwarf without assistance. No idea why Lister and Cat didn't choose to remain in the past because they could have left the ship.

"Then there was the time we had photo fluid that had mutated causing the developed photos to send up back to the past but only within the frame of the picture.

"And then there was the time that we met our future selves and had to kill them before they killed us to prevent us from becoming them. Listy was a brain in a jar, I was fat which I still have no idea how that was possible being a hologram and all. Cat was balding, and Kryten had an ugly wig a suit.

"Then the last time we time travelled we caused this weird time paradox where we caused Kennedy to assassinate himself. We almost broke history at least twice with all the time travelling we've done." Arnold finished the abbreviated version of their time travel journeys.

"We did break history, whenever I try to explain killing our future selves to a camera, it melts," Dave added. "If I don't end up in that bar, we are going to wreak history." Arnold reminded Dave.

"But the other versions of us ended up addicted to time travel. We promised that we were not going to time travel again because we don't want to end up like them."

"And that isn't going to happen to us. We'll only time travel one more time, to drop me off and then we'll never time travel again."

"You say one more time now, but what about the first time when we time travelled to the past when we saw older versions of ourselves, your older self married to Miss Kochanksi." Rimmer turned to Kristine. "Not you Miss Kochanski, the Miss Kochanski from our own timeline. No wonder why the me from the future said everything is going to get confusing. You're going to marry an alternate version of your mother. I like how your family tree makes mine look normal."

"Your father probably isn't even your father. From the stories that you told me I wouldn't be surprised if your uncles is your father." Dave had to add.

"I'm pretty sure that Uncle Frank is my brother Franks father. Uncle Frank and mother are not related by blood unlike you and Miss Kochanski if what you think ends up being true. I think I was father's only biological son, I think that is why I was such a big disappointment to him. His only biological child and I could not do anything right or follow the path that he had mapped out for me."

"So we have two reasons to time travel, take baby me to the past and marry Kris, saving her from the radiation leak and then we will never time travel ever again."

"We can't bring another Miss Kochanski here. The space is too cramped, and we don't have enough supplies as it is." Arnold reminded Dave. They didn't have the supplies for the crew they did have.

Dave amended his plan. "We drop the baby off in the past, find the Red Dwarf, and once we have it, we go to the past and get Kris. I do have one question, how do we time travel? We destroyed the time machine after the whole Kennedy incident."

"Ace, next time he comes to visit we ask him to take the baby back to the past," Arnold said, remembering his agreement with the dimension hoping version of himself.

"Who is Ace?" Kristine asked, having never heard of Ace Rimmer before.

"He's amazing," Dave gushed, telling Kristine all about the space hero, neglecting to mention one important fact. "We can't be sitting around waiting for Ace, I think we should head back to the derelict and get the time travel paddle."

"No," Arnold insisted. "Are you forgetting the last time we were there we were almost killed. We just keep going around and around in circles."

 

"Sirs, we are never going to find Red Dwarf at this rate," Kryten whined when Dave told him the plan of returning to the derelict. "We already lost time when Mister Ace was sick. The Red Dwarf must be filthy by now with those centuries of not being cleaned. Just imagine all the cleaning that waits for me." Kryten was in mechanoid heaven as he daydreamt about cleaning Red Dwarf.

"It's not like we are going to find another means of time travel anywhere else Krytie," Dave purposely neglected to mention just waiting for Ace and getting him to time travel to the past for them.

"Look, if he doesn't exist I don't exist because Holly will not have any reason to turn my hologram on," Arnold could not believe he was helping Dave. "I don't want to go back to not existing."

"But sir, you would still exist," Kryten said.

"But not like this. I would be dead dead and not a hologram. Cat probably wouldn't exist at all, and you would still be stuck on the Nova 5. The radiation leak would still happen. Holly has no reason to bring me back, Lister never smuggled a cat on board, so Cats ancestors never existed aboard Red Dwarf. There is no reason for Red Dwarf to turn around and you wouldn't be found." Arnold hopped Kryten understood this time.

"It is crucial that we make sure Mister Lister exists. Changing course sirs," Kryten got to plotting a new course on the console back towards what should be certain death.

 

It would take a few days to get to the simulant ship that had the time travel machine the crew was looking for, and Kristine was in the boy's room looking for another outfit to wear when she put her one in the wash. She'd already given up on Dave's wardrobe, it was all grimy even with Kryten cleaning everything. Arnold watched as she opened his wardrobe.

"What's this?" She said as she held out the freshly laundered outfit. "It's hideous."

"It's my uniform. What is so hideous about it? Everything is just as well maintained as before the accident, better even because I don't have to unblock chicken soup nozzles anymore." Arnold was wondering if Kryten had done something when he washes the uniforms while upset about Kristine.

"Our dimensions must be more different than I first assumed." Kristine was already standing at the mirror to activate the computer screen, pulling up some of the data she'd traded from her own dimension. It was a picture of the Arnold Rimmer from her dimension.

"His uniform is blue," Arnold said knowing he never wore an outfit like that one.

"That's correct, our uniforms are different," Kristine said.

Kristine's records after the accident hadn't been as extensive as Arnolds. He recorded everything twice. The first version was what actually happened and the second was an embellished version which showed himself in a better light. The version that Dave and Kryten had access to. The embellished version because Arnold knew that Dave would get bored reading real records and reports.  Arnold did his best to encourage Dave to read without Dave realising what Arnold was doing.

Kristine ended up taking his uniform to wear. After she was changed the continued comparing more records that they'd both recorded and seeing how different the crew between the two dimensions was.

"Did you ever end up in a reverse gender dimension like we did?" Arnold asked, bringing up the staff files from Deb and Arlene and the male version of Kristine.

"No, that would have been interesting, I wish we had," Kristine said as she got the crew files to merge so they could see crew pictures from all three dimensions as they clicked through them.

"Their experiences were identical until we met," Arnold smiled sadly as he thought of the twin boys that changed the two dimensions.

"Do you think a male version of me is trapped with them right now?" Kristine asked.

"Maybe, there was something that caused our dimensions to no longer being the same, but you getting stuck may still happen."

Kristine didn't pry what that something had been to cause the dimensions to differ which Arnold was glad for. That was Dave's story to tell. If he wanted Kristine to know about the boys he would be the one to tell the story.


End file.
